1. Do you like blue cheese? I do. I would eat it on my cornflakes if it weren't so expensive.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Not since my stint in the Brownies. Those bitches run rough.
3. Do you own a gun? Nope. Neither of us wants one in the home. The cats are way too volatile.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I have never been to Sonic, though commercials make it look like shake nirvana.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not anymore, but I used to pass out at the lady doctor. They love that.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think they've been marginalized for far too long. Give them the vote, I say. It's time for the othering to stop.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Three-way tie: Scrooged, Bad Santa, Home for the Holidays
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Cristal, but if that's not available, I'll take tea, I guess.
9. Can you do push ups? Can, youbetcha. Do, ohgodno.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? The crown jewels. Or my blue sapphire ring from Trace.
11. Favorite hobby? I like to pour myself a nice glass of wine, turn on some Tiny Tim and get to the business of building doll house furniture out of sausages, barley, and spit. You know, the usual.
12. Do you have A.D.D? What? Sorry, I was just about to...can you hold on a second? Thanks. What were you saying? Oh, I was? Well shit. I guess I --look at the pretty lights...
13. What is one trait you hate about yourself? I'm a huge judger and have very little empathy for people who allow themselves to be kicked around by their partners.
14. Middle name? Ellen. After my dad's first wife's sister. Would you like to set up my appointment with a therapist, or shall I?
15. What is your favorite TV show or movie? TV Show: Bret Michael's Whorific Circus Sideshow, er, "Rock of Love" and all its endless derivations. Movie: "The Right Stuff"
16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. Draino, mayonnaise, and cat litter. Hey! It's the holidays. You celebrate your way...
17. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Tea, juice, and unsettled jell-o
18. Current worry? That it's wrong to still have a thing for Heath Ledger, considering he's, well, you know
19. Current hate right now? OH GOD. That terrible commercial with the rabbit that horrifyingly morphs into a running robot dog thing. FUCK YOU, YOU CREEPY RABBITTY BASTARD
20. Favorite place to be? In front of Jeff Bridges' zipper
21. Where would you like to go? To your house. Say, Thursday around 6?
22. Name three people who will complete this? Mickey Rourke, Don Rickles, and Duff McKagan. They're huge followers of this blog. I mean, who isn't?
24. What shirt are you wearing? My Keith Richards for President shirt. Pictured here.
25. What year would you go back in time to? 1988. It was Designing Women's best year.
26. Can you whistle? Not even a little.
27. Favorite color? 1970s orange
28. Would you be a pirate? Wait a second, Survey Writer. Are you asking if I would like to be a real pirate or a movie pirate? The reason I ask is that Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow would have been passed around a real pirate ship like a lollipop in Oliver's orphanage. None for me, thanks.
29. Favorite girl’s name? Maude Margaret
30. Favorite boy’s name? David Discretion
31. Last thing you dreamed about? Flikka could talk. She was still a cat, but she had a lot to say about how we run the household. I made myself wake up.
32. What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing. I have only the wish for pockets on my pajamas at the moment.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Clayton's status message that reads: "Thanks to peripheral vision & the breakfast food aisle, I thought for a moment that Post came out with a new cereal called 'Just Bitches'." Beautiful.
34. Best Halloween costume? My personal best was this year's Marge Gunderson from "Fargo"
35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Broken heart
36. Do you like where you live? I do. I could live without the self-congratulatory smugness this area lends itself to sometimes, but overall Portland kicks booty.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2
38. Who is your loudest friend? Oh hands down. Terry. Jesus wept. His "whisper" makes my eardrum shake its head in disgust.
39. How many dogs do you have? I have three in my head. In reality, though, they're cats.
40. Does someone have a crush on you? Man, I hope so. The wedding could get awkward if he doesn't.
41. What is your favorite book(s)? "I Like You" by Amy Sedaris, "1984" by George Orwell, and "James and the Giant Peach" by Roald Dahl
42. What is your favorite candy? Snowcaps, and for some reason the movie houses around here are major Snowcaps bigots. It makes me sad.
43. Favorite Sports Team? Detroit Red Wings
44. Favorite Sports? Hockey, gymnastics, lion taming
45. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Reading my new book from Turbo
46. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I would like to continue reading my new book from Turbo.
4 comments:
"Unsettled jello" - lol. I used to like that as a wee one but I worried that it would jell up and stick to my insides. (Probably poviding a agent for those watermelon seeds that I also wasn't supposed to awallow.
I can't believe in Portland you can't find snowcaps. Bastards. They pass them around the video rental places here like they have a never ending supply.
Now I know what to send for congratulatory, honey moon fare. What you do with them is entirely up to you.
I disagree about the costume my dear...and I am glad you asked my opinion..
I really like when you were Mrs Roper...I think that costumed kicked this years ass dude...
You crack me up!
Your friend with the faulty peripheral vision sounds like my faulty hearing - I always hear weird (and usually dirty) crap instead of what people are actually saying.
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